I got my lab results back yesterday (after calling TWICE)...everything is normal! YAY! I must admit that it would have been nice for something simple; an "easy fix" so to speak. Like my thyroid being out of whack or something. Something so that I could be like "okay, all I gotta do is take this every day and everything will be alright." Too bad life isn't that easy. It was 6 weeks yesterday until our trip to Aruba - that means 6 weeks until we can TTC again! I hope the time goes by quickly. Momma thinks I need to go to a fertility specialist. I think I'll try one more time before I consider it.
We got the results from Daddy's bone marrow biopsy yesterday. His plasma count has increased from 8% to 28%. Really not too good. It was 60% when he was diagnosed. At first Momma and I were worried. I mean, he's already down in the dumps 'cause he's sick and can't "provide" like he should. But how is he going to take THIS news?! Luckily, he took it better than anticipated. Momma talked to NP at Duke today. Apparently they were surprised at how high his plasma count has climbed, but that something like this is to be expected since he hasn't had any chemo for the past 8 weeks. They're optimistic about his recovery and plan for him to begin chemo again once a week; hopefully to be done with the transplant completely by next spring. Keep your fingers crossed!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Sorry...
It's been a little while since I've written. Sorry about that.
Let's see...
On the 19th I had blood work that's apparently routine for recurrent miscarriages. I waited a week for the results. The nurse called me yesterday around 6pm (after I left TWO messages with their office) only to tell me that they had no record of my blood work; that I was even at the office OR that my blood was sent to the lab. Frustration would be an understatement. So I was told that she'll call on Monday and let me know. I tell you one thing though, I do not want another ELEVEN vials drawn or wait another week after that for the results. Too bad those are empty words, knowing that I'll still do it.
Um, I went to Megan's baby shower today. Her mother- and sister-in-law rented the club house in Meg's subdivision and had it decorated really nice. It was honestly a little intimidating; her shower that I'm throwing at work in a couple of weeks won't be anywhere near that nice. Not that I'm worried what she will think, but I'm a female and we tend to make comparisons like that. (Ya'll know what I'm talking about!) She seemed to really like her gifts that I got her and I got some nice compliments on them from some of the other ladies. That made me feel good. *sigh* M told me earlier this week to put my game face on for the shower to help me survive the shower. I'd say for the most part it worked. I do think that Meg could tell that I was a little sad sometimes; she kept asking me if I was okay. It was sweet of her to ask, but still hard for me at times. I left at about 4, after we had transported all her gifts back to her house. I decided it was time for me to go when I was asked if I had any children. That's a hard question for me. I know it's an incredibly innocent question, and one that people have no idea how deep it can run. Oh well. I had a good cry in the car, had my baby hold me when I got home and watched a couple of movies snuggled up on his chest.
For all of you who are tired of my BTOB stories, I have joined a blogging community of women who are going through or have gone through similar things (TTC after a loss or pregnant after a loss). It's comforting to read about women who actually know what this is like and to see that it is possible to overcome. Forgive me for not revealing the name of it. There are some things I prefer to keep to myself - you guys know enough about me as it is!
My family is still holding up. Had a few more showings of the house but still no bites. Daddy had another bone marrow biopsy done (also on the 19th); the results will determine whether or not the transplant is still an option.
Nate is doing great. Working nearly everyday. It surprises me sometimes how grown-up he's getting. Friday was an especially hard day for me but as soon as I got to my parents' house for dinner, Nathan set himself to the task of cheering me up. He's so good at that; he always makes me laugh and we act like a couple of little kids when we're together. He also called me tonight to check on me. My life will be much duller when he goes to the Coast Guard.
That's it for now. I'll write again on Monday after I call the doctor's office to make sure they do what they're supposed to.
Let's see...
On the 19th I had blood work that's apparently routine for recurrent miscarriages. I waited a week for the results. The nurse called me yesterday around 6pm (after I left TWO messages with their office) only to tell me that they had no record of my blood work; that I was even at the office OR that my blood was sent to the lab. Frustration would be an understatement. So I was told that she'll call on Monday and let me know. I tell you one thing though, I do not want another ELEVEN vials drawn or wait another week after that for the results. Too bad those are empty words, knowing that I'll still do it.
Um, I went to Megan's baby shower today. Her mother- and sister-in-law rented the club house in Meg's subdivision and had it decorated really nice. It was honestly a little intimidating; her shower that I'm throwing at work in a couple of weeks won't be anywhere near that nice. Not that I'm worried what she will think, but I'm a female and we tend to make comparisons like that. (Ya'll know what I'm talking about!) She seemed to really like her gifts that I got her and I got some nice compliments on them from some of the other ladies. That made me feel good. *sigh* M told me earlier this week to put my game face on for the shower to help me survive the shower. I'd say for the most part it worked. I do think that Meg could tell that I was a little sad sometimes; she kept asking me if I was okay. It was sweet of her to ask, but still hard for me at times. I left at about 4, after we had transported all her gifts back to her house. I decided it was time for me to go when I was asked if I had any children. That's a hard question for me. I know it's an incredibly innocent question, and one that people have no idea how deep it can run. Oh well. I had a good cry in the car, had my baby hold me when I got home and watched a couple of movies snuggled up on his chest.
For all of you who are tired of my BTOB stories, I have joined a blogging community of women who are going through or have gone through similar things (TTC after a loss or pregnant after a loss). It's comforting to read about women who actually know what this is like and to see that it is possible to overcome. Forgive me for not revealing the name of it. There are some things I prefer to keep to myself - you guys know enough about me as it is!
My family is still holding up. Had a few more showings of the house but still no bites. Daddy had another bone marrow biopsy done (also on the 19th); the results will determine whether or not the transplant is still an option.
Nate is doing great. Working nearly everyday. It surprises me sometimes how grown-up he's getting. Friday was an especially hard day for me but as soon as I got to my parents' house for dinner, Nathan set himself to the task of cheering me up. He's so good at that; he always makes me laugh and we act like a couple of little kids when we're together. He also called me tonight to check on me. My life will be much duller when he goes to the Coast Guard.
That's it for now. I'll write again on Monday after I call the doctor's office to make sure they do what they're supposed to.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
A couple things of note
Not much has been going here on the home front. Stephen is off from the hospital this week; it almost feels like our old marriage having him home every night. It's been really nice. ;o) No news yet on the 1st shift position he's applied for. Oh yeah, he and his brother worked on the house some today...got quite a bit done too! I had to remind Stephen that when we started this 'lil project early this year he promised me it would be done by the end of the year. He gingerly replied "I don't think that's gonna happen." *eye roll* So I will happily continue to nag him. Hey what are wives for, right?
I've had some good days here lately. Not much sadness, though I still have BOTB. We're going to wait until October to TTC again, when we go to Aruba. Per my counter, we leave in just under 8 weeks. I'm counting down for both reasons but as it is when you're looking forward to something the time just seems to be dragging by. *sigh*
Speaking of October, Megan only has about 10weeks left. It's hard to believe. Her belly is just sitting right out there, though I know it will continue to grow even more as these last few weeks tick by. (Sorry, Meg) Her family is throwing her a baby shower in a couple of weeks. I'm excited about my gift. I've put a lot of thought into it...I like unique gifts that (I hope) no one else thinks of. With this, I wanted something from her registry but felt that it was a little too generic for the BF. So I hope she likes the compromise I have invented.
This morning, I was making my usual rounds in the silver bullet (the nickname the girls gave my car; I pick them up every morning to take the from the parking lot in BFE to the office) but for some odd reason everyone decided to pile into the car for one trip rather than the usual two. Mind you, I drive a Toyota Matrix...not the biggest car on the road!~plus I'm 5'8" so I have to sit with my seat pretty far back. Anyway, K was in the front with me, and R, K and C were in the back. Guess who drew the short straw and had to sit on laps in the back seat? That's right, Preggers. So here comes the pregnant lady waddling (yes, Meg, you waddle. Sorry) around to the back and somehow maneuvering her short (only 5 feet) pregnant self onto the laps of the 3 ladies in the backseat. As she was lying there I wickedly tapped the brakes a couple of times (yes, it amused me!). Someone made the comment about her giving birth or her water breaking while she was back there. NUH UH!! I said "I don't think so! I have cloth seats!" Love ya Meg, but that would be hellacious to clean.
Yesterday as I was walking to grab a patient, M (the woman who recently lost her granddaughter Eleanor) told me that she had something she wanted to talk to me about. She came around the desk and I jokingly asked if I was in trouble. Once we were somewhat secluded, she told me that I have been on her mind lately. That the Lord told her that he wanted her to pray over my stomach with anointing oil. She said that she asked if He was sure, apparently He was. I think that is one of the nicest, most thoughtful things anyone has ever said to me. Of course I said that I would be honored. So this afternoon, in-between patients we went to one of my empty rooms for the prayer. It's funny that this happened; that she came to me yesterday. It's funny because I saw something Sunday that said "having faith isn't believing in what He has done; it's believing in what He will do."
I've had some good days here lately. Not much sadness, though I still have BOTB. We're going to wait until October to TTC again, when we go to Aruba. Per my counter, we leave in just under 8 weeks. I'm counting down for both reasons but as it is when you're looking forward to something the time just seems to be dragging by. *sigh*
Speaking of October, Megan only has about 10weeks left. It's hard to believe. Her belly is just sitting right out there, though I know it will continue to grow even more as these last few weeks tick by. (Sorry, Meg) Her family is throwing her a baby shower in a couple of weeks. I'm excited about my gift. I've put a lot of thought into it...I like unique gifts that (I hope) no one else thinks of. With this, I wanted something from her registry but felt that it was a little too generic for the BF. So I hope she likes the compromise I have invented.
This morning, I was making my usual rounds in the silver bullet (the nickname the girls gave my car; I pick them up every morning to take the from the parking lot in BFE to the office) but for some odd reason everyone decided to pile into the car for one trip rather than the usual two. Mind you, I drive a Toyota Matrix...not the biggest car on the road!~plus I'm 5'8" so I have to sit with my seat pretty far back. Anyway, K was in the front with me, and R, K and C were in the back. Guess who drew the short straw and had to sit on laps in the back seat? That's right, Preggers. So here comes the pregnant lady waddling (yes, Meg, you waddle. Sorry) around to the back and somehow maneuvering her short (only 5 feet) pregnant self onto the laps of the 3 ladies in the backseat. As she was lying there I wickedly tapped the brakes a couple of times (yes, it amused me!). Someone made the comment about her giving birth or her water breaking while she was back there. NUH UH!! I said "I don't think so! I have cloth seats!" Love ya Meg, but that would be hellacious to clean.
Yesterday as I was walking to grab a patient, M (the woman who recently lost her granddaughter Eleanor) told me that she had something she wanted to talk to me about. She came around the desk and I jokingly asked if I was in trouble. Once we were somewhat secluded, she told me that I have been on her mind lately. That the Lord told her that he wanted her to pray over my stomach with anointing oil. She said that she asked if He was sure, apparently He was. I think that is one of the nicest, most thoughtful things anyone has ever said to me. Of course I said that I would be honored. So this afternoon, in-between patients we went to one of my empty rooms for the prayer. It's funny that this happened; that she came to me yesterday. It's funny because I saw something Sunday that said "having faith isn't believing in what He has done; it's believing in what He will do."
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
JC came by after work Monday. Apparently she must have known that I was having a bad day and said that she had something for me. I'm not used to surprises and feel awkward when attention is focused on me but I was curious and flattered. I was surprised and impressed when she got a Things Remembered bag out of her van. I don't know how wide-spread the store is, but the merchandise is very nice and not cheap. Anyway, (knowing my love and near-obsession with them) she got me a beautiful snow globe! It has and angel inside it with gorgeous silver filigree wings shaped into a bow and holding a heart. The base is polished silver-tone that has a plaque on the front that says "Have Faith." JC said that it isn't telling me to have faith that the past happenings were for a reason, but to have faith in the future and what it will bring. It plays Amazing Grace. Easily one of the nicest gifts I've ever received. It will forever have a home on my dresser!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Stephen told me last week that a 1st shift position has been posted at the hospital in the OR! YAY! Man, I hope he gets it. The shift would either be 6a-2p or 7a-3p; Monday through Friday (thankfully NO weekends). If he gets the position, he will change his UPS shift to "noon-day"; changing from 12p-5p to 5p-10p. It will still be an excruciatingly long day, but at least he will be able to get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time and will have both Saturday and Sunday off - something he hasn't had in quite a few years. I've been praying pretty hard on that.
My parents had another viewing of the house. Supposedly this couple is really interested in it, but we're not sure if the bank is going to approve the loan or not because the wife (second marriage for both of them, I think) already has another home in her name. But, if they put both their names on the loan application...who knows.
Those two things coupled with (hopefully) smooth-sailing with Daddy's appointment on Thursday and subsequent stem-cell transplant, my family's luck is certainly looking like it wants to turn for the better.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A few of us went to visit with Eleanor's family today after work. The funeral/memorial is tomorrow. I was worried about how I would take it (I'm sure no explanation is needed) but luckily, the worry was for naught. M, K and their entire family is so strong for surviving the hardships that they've been through the last year or so. And, God bless K. I know how hard losing my babies was, and I hadn't even made it to the second trimester. I CANNOT imagine losing my baby after bonding like she has.
One thing that I hope made them feel better: that people care so much that they took time out of their busy lives to give a few minutes. (And I don't say this comment on my behalf; my life is far from busy since I pretty much do nothing during the evenings while Stephen sleeps.) I hope that when I'm in need like that people step up the way K's family/friends did today and will tomorrow. I'm always impressed by that. It's too bad that unselfishness like that isn't as common as it should be.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Stephen told me last week that a 1st shift position has been posted at the hospital in the OR! YAY! Man, I hope he gets it. The shift would either be 6a-2p or 7a-3p; Monday through Friday (thankfully NO weekends). If he gets the position, he will change his UPS shift to "noon-day"; changing from 12p-5p to 5p-10p. It will still be an excruciatingly long day, but at least he will be able to get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time and will have both Saturday and Sunday off - something he hasn't had in quite a few years. I've been praying pretty hard on that.
My parents had another viewing of the house. Supposedly this couple is really interested in it, but we're not sure if the bank is going to approve the loan or not because the wife (second marriage for both of them, I think) already has another home in her name. But, if they put both their names on the loan application...who knows.
Those two things coupled with (hopefully) smooth-sailing with Daddy's appointment on Thursday and subsequent stem-cell transplant, my family's luck is certainly looking like it wants to turn for the better.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A few of us went to visit with Eleanor's family today after work. The funeral/memorial is tomorrow. I was worried about how I would take it (I'm sure no explanation is needed) but luckily, the worry was for naught. M, K and their entire family is so strong for surviving the hardships that they've been through the last year or so. And, God bless K. I know how hard losing my babies was, and I hadn't even made it to the second trimester. I CANNOT imagine losing my baby after bonding like she has.
One thing that I hope made them feel better: that people care so much that they took time out of their busy lives to give a few minutes. (And I don't say this comment on my behalf; my life is far from busy since I pretty much do nothing during the evenings while Stephen sleeps.) I hope that when I'm in need like that people step up the way K's family/friends did today and will tomorrow. I'm always impressed by that. It's too bad that unselfishness like that isn't as common as it should be.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Special Angels
I am a firm believer in God, Heaven and Angels. And I happen to believe that God has special angels for babies and children who watch over them diligently until He wants them home...
To those of you who know this pain, I send out this prayer for all of you as well.
Father God in heaven, please watch over baby Eleanor. She came to you this morning at 29 weeks. Hold her in your embrace, Lord, and help her family to know that while she is not here on Earth with us anymore, that she is with our Creater where she will be happy, healthy and waiting for her family with open arms and a joyous heart. Amen.
To those of you who know this pain, I send out this prayer for all of you as well.
Friday, August 5, 2011
I had my HCG done on Tuesday. It was 2300. Down from 31,000 the day of the ultrasound. My OB/GYN called me today and said that in two weeks I will have it repeated along with a slew of other labs to check various things like my thyroid and any anticoagulation disorders. That will be on the 19th. Ironic that I'm going to have all that done to try to find a reason for the miscarriages the same weekend that my first baby was due. (I wonder if that singular pain I get whenever I think about my babies will dull.)
Having said that, this has been a bit of a tough month so far. Not to mention I got an invitation in the mail for Megan's family baby shower. That accompanied with this fateful month...*shrug* well, it's just a pretty strong reminder, that's all.
I got a nice treat this evening. Stephen slept all day (I know that doesn't sound like a good thing) so that we could spend the evening together. We got some Taco Bell and rented a movie. I really miss him so it was great having him to myself for longer than our normal 30minutes. Tomorrow when he wakes up we're going shopping, and then out to dinner and a movie. We haven't spent much time together since our mini-vacay to Asheville. We are way past due!
Daddy has an appointment with the transplant doctor next Thursday. Depending on how that office visit goes determine when the transplant process begins again. Hopefully everything will go more smoothly this time. My family needs a break!
Having said that, this has been a bit of a tough month so far. Not to mention I got an invitation in the mail for Megan's family baby shower. That accompanied with this fateful month...*shrug* well, it's just a pretty strong reminder, that's all.
I got a nice treat this evening. Stephen slept all day (I know that doesn't sound like a good thing) so that we could spend the evening together. We got some Taco Bell and rented a movie. I really miss him so it was great having him to myself for longer than our normal 30minutes. Tomorrow when he wakes up we're going shopping, and then out to dinner and a movie. We haven't spent much time together since our mini-vacay to Asheville. We are way past due!
Daddy has an appointment with the transplant doctor next Thursday. Depending on how that office visit goes determine when the transplant process begins again. Hopefully everything will go more smoothly this time. My family needs a break!
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